We started with an audio from Alan Watts: The Ego Illusion, as a general introduction to today's Meetup.
Then we started the topic of non-sticking items with acknowledging that if we are Awareness, if we are already That which is looking, how come that we are not able to experience this right now?. What is in the way of this direct perception. Which beliefs and ideas are blocking this clear view. And proceeded to ask everyone, out of their own experience to tell us why this elusive obviousness is not yet present. What in their perception has prevented this recognition up to now.
On a white board we wrote down all the reasons from the limited self point of view, which are in the way.
We acknowledged that none of those ideas are personal. They are just ideas which are in a way universal, and applicable to almost everyone. By writing them on the board we can take some distance and make space to see perhaps that these are just ideas and have no reality and value other then the one we are giving them.
Some of the beliefs in the way which we wrote down were:
I am not good, not special enough to become awakened.
I am too ordinary.
I have to work very hard on my self and my conditioning first.
It is not now but somewhere in the future that it will take place.
I have to do the right thing.
I have to get a silent mind first.
There is nothing I can do, it is only Grace, so Grace has to speed up the process.
I do not care about anything, so why make an effort.
I am afraid what will happen.
Then Didier was asking everyone to see deeply that these are just ideas and if we can see them as such, and not take them on board anymore what is there that remains Untouched? Wiping the board clean of all concepts and beliefs, only white space is left.
A discussion followed with many coming forward with things which were revealing and touching.
A video from Rupert Spira:
gave us another view on the same topic.
How to wean away the conditioning of the limited self by not buying into thoughts produced on behalf of this fictitious entity.
After the break we continued with Adyashanti's short video:
Which revealed the transitory nature of all existence including our belief in the limited egoic self. The last sentence of this video also introduced us to the last part of our Meetup:"What is it that notices the arising and ending of everything?”
A Group Awareness Exercise as developed by Sperry Andrews.
A simple exercise which at the same time is not easy.
All our lives we have been conditioned, have become habituated to direct our attention to the objects, the appearances. The thoughts, feelings, the world, persons, anything, and have lost sight of That which is noticing all those thoughts, feelings, the world etc. We have lost sight of what is aware. What is Looking?
This exercise asks all of us to come to that place and to notice what awareness is, what awareness feels like. And from that place try to describe the indescribable.
We are asked not to go into the ideas we have about awareness, or what we have learned or read about it. Not to go to the past of how it was yesterday or even a few minutes ago. To state simply right now how awareness feels like. We went around the circle, 15 seconds for each person, several times.
The focus on awareness and expressing awareness, and the focus of the whole group brought immediately the sense of Presence of Beingness. And in spite of the uneasiness, as we are so not accustomed to notice in this way, it was a beautiful way to end this rich Meetup.